Mental health is an important part of children and teen’s overall health and well-being. Learn how to CONNECT with your Teen as a CONSCIOUS PARENT.
Dear Parent of a Teen,
As the mother of a 15-year-old boy, I personally know the challenge of connecting at a deeper level with teens. For some of us, it’s difficult. Daily, I try to find creative ways to get my son’s attention regarding his social, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. He spends much more time on social media than I like, but he is growing up and I must give him some “air.” Often, he tells me he needs some physical space when I get too close. But more importantly, I know he needs some room to experience, fail, observe, reflect, and grow in wisdom, with me a comfortable distance alongside him.
As a Pediatrician, I listen to podcasts and read articles and books about the psychology of the teen mind. Still, I struggle daily with my own teen. My goals for him are two-fold; to “train up (my) a child in the way he should go…” Proverbs 22:6 (the Jesus way; where freedom lies) and to keep our relationship healthy and positive no matter what he gets himself into and/or even as he is experiencing consequences.
Here is what I am learning and how I have been trying to train myself to be a more CONSCIOUS PARENT:
- I must acknowledge I do not have control over anyone but myself. This includes my child.
- I must try to pause during stormy situations and engage with my teen in as calm a manner as possible, hoping this will encourage conversations more readily in the future.
- I must be present (in creative ways) to observe, listen, and try to understand his perspective.
- I must encourage authenticity in him, recognizing that he is not responsible for fulfilling my needs or my vision for his future.
- I must not “poke at the bear.”
The amygdala is a small part of the brain also called “the watch dog” as it processes emotions. Many studies suggest that teens strongly rely on this emotional region over more reason-oriented brain areas to make decisions and solve problems.
“So far the journey of raising a teen has been filled with “wows”😳, smiles😊, and lots of thinking🤔about my son. My goals keep me going because every day is a NEW DAY to try to understand and influence his life in a positive way.” Charlene Blache, MD; Pediatrician and Mother of a Teenager
Mental health is an important part of children and teen’s overall health and well-being. A child’s mental health affects how they think, feel, and act. In addition, it is interconnected to how children and teens cope with stress, relate to others, problem-solve, learn, and make healthy decisions. The most common mental health disorders diagnosed in childhood are Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Anxiety, Depression, and Behavioral disorders.
Since the COVID pandemic, we have observed the increase in symptomology and diagnoses of mental health disorders among children and teens. In addition, due to multiple factors including social media, technology, peer pressure, family conflict, and academic pressure, more parents are struggling with connecting to their teens.
Parents need to give themselves GRACE…we are all in this together trying to navigate the pressure of this world and connect with our children and teens positively. Learning how to CONNECT allows us to be The Light in the Darkness.
Written by:
Charlene Blache, MD (Pediatrician/Owner, Southern Pediatric Clinic)
Leah McMillan, DPA, LMFT, CFRC (Clinical Therapist/Owner), EnSpire Counseling & Wellness)
Resource: https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html