I have grown to realize I must ask myself, Do the words I speak build up or tear down?
“The fastest way to have a loving, supportive, understanding spouse is to become a loving, supportive, understanding spouse.” Gary Chapman
I have grown to realize I must ask myself, Do the words I speak build up or tear down?
This does not mean I talk about rainbows and sunshine all the time. But it does mean if I have something critical to share, it is constructive criticism — sharing words meant to heal, not hurt.
I want to choose words that encourage, exhort, and impart grace — “according to their needs.” This entails being aware not only of my own needs, but others’ needs, too. It’s easy to say, “What have you done for me lately?” instead of, “What have I done for you lately?”
Do you see a bit of yourself in any of these descriptions? (I do!)
The Complaining Woman — “Janet’s husband always takes her out to nice places. I don’t have anyone to do that for me.”
The Nagging Woman — “I asked you to help me last week, and you haven’t even done anything.”
The Angry Woman — “Why do we always do what you want to do? You never listen to what I want!”
It is crucial to maintain a positive and loving attitude and choose our words wisely. Some days are easier than others. Are you the “greatest cheerleader or biggest foe”?
It takes thought and energy, but the benefits of close and healthy relationships are totally worth it.
Let’s make plans to show love, respect, and encouragement to our loved ones today.
Written by Leah McMillan, DPA, LMFT, EMDR-T, CFRC
(Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists at EnSpire Counseling & Wellness, LLC)